After recently
reading an autobiography by a lady who had MS who applied to the court the
change the law to suit her need of assisted suicide by her partner, many
lingering questions came to the fore.
One of the
first things I did after being diagnosed was to make a LIVING WILL. I was
determined to remain in control to the end. After living with MSA for almost four
years, and having lost control over some bodily functions, ever teetering on the
abyss of losing more, I wonder how
much control I really have? Where does my and the doctor’s will stop, and God’s
will begin? What medical procedures are justified in this disorder that has no
cure?
Although I feel
my life has purpose and meaning currently, how will I feel if pain takes over, I'm
hopelessly bed bound, and I'm unable to speak? Will my life have any worth
then? How does one measure life’s worth? By the love my family and
friends? What if I become an unbearable
burden?
When friends
come for a barbecue we discuss some these issues, but we found no real answers.
I do know
this; I love my nearest and dearest too much and could not put them through anything
that would cause them agony.
God answered
me the very next morning through His Word, in this exact order:
1 Kings 22:5New International Version
(NIV)
“First seek the counsel of the Lord.”
Proverbs 3:5New International Version
(NIV)
“Trust in the Lord with
all your heart
and lean not on your
own understanding”
James 1:5New International Version
(NIV)
“If any of you lacks
wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to you.”
Matthew 6:34New International Version
(NIV)
“Therefore do not worry
about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough
trouble of its own.”
Matthew 28:20New International
Version (NIV)
“And surely I am with
you always, to the very end of the age.”
Isaiah 58:11New International Version
(NIV)
“The Lord will guide
you always”
1 John 4:16New International Version
(NIV)
“ And so we know and
rely on the love God has for us.”
My trust is
in Him who loves me boundlessly. He is in control, always. If I lose my speech,
I’ll still be able to talk to Him and consult Him first in all matters. My Almighty Father will find a way to answer
me, and guide me through all the storms.
Thank you Trisa Hugo for permitting me to use your photo